Post by Ronin Fox on Feb 19, 2008 20:47:15 GMT -5
This is a comedy RP that the Wesker Fan Club had in the old forum. I'm re-starting the story and opening it to anyone who wants to join in some irreverent, illogical, crazy RE fun.
-Introduction-
Chris, Jill, Barry and Rebecca receive information that William Birkin is alive and performing new B.O.W. experiments. The info leads them to a mansion in the forests of southern France.
Upon reaching the forest, they encounter a few zombies, which they dispose of easily. They reach the mansion, which at the moment appears to be zombie-free. Finding the front door locked with an electronic security device, the group makes their way inside through a side door that Jill lockpicks.
Jill: Never leave home without it... *puts away lockpicking set*
Chris: I never leave home without my trusty breath mints. *holds up a pack of mints* You guys want some?
Jill: Nah, I'm good.
Rebecca: No, thanks.
Barry: Nup. I've got gum.
Chris: More for me, then. *pops a handful of mints into his mouth*
*Rebecca sees the label on the pack of "mints" and is suddenly alarmed.*
Rebecca: Uh, Chris? Those aren't breath mints... that's--
Chris: Gurk! *suddenly gets a glazed look on his face and wobbles unsteadily*
Rebecca: -- Diazepam...
*note: Diazepam (Valium) is a muscle relaxant, sometimes taken by snipers and marksmen to ensure a perfectly steady aim.*
Chris: *drools and lurches forward* Guuuuwaaaaah...
Barry: *smacks himself on the forehead* Great. Just what we need. Another zombie.
*Chris staggers down the nearest hallway. The group follows him worriedly. He comes across a door, and in his daze, tries to open it.*
Barry: Whoa, Chris, careful with that... you never know what--
Chris: Hrrrrmmm? *opens the door*
*The door swings open to reveal an extremely cluttered bedroom. Books, papers and computer equipment are scattered in various places. A middle-aged man with sandy-blonde hair is sitting on the bed, reading a magazine. The bedcovers are bunched around his middle. The cover of the magazine features a beautiful, voluptuous redhead wearing a lab coat and nothing else. At the top of the magazine cover are the words "HOT NERDS".*
Man:
Chris: *sees the sexy woman on the magazine cover* Oooooohhhhh... *staggers toward the man*
Man: GAH! A ZOMBIE!!!
Chris: Hurrrrr... Me no zombeh...
Barry: *steps into the room* What's going on--
*The man gets out of bed, pulling the covers around his waist. He slaps at Chris and Barry with the magazine.*
Man: OUT! OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!
Barry: So this is your house? Are you--
Man: Can't a man have a private moment in his own home? GET OUT!!! *gives Chris and Barry a hard smack each, shoves them out the door, and slams it shut.*
*Barry, Chris and Rebecca hear the door being locked. A second later, they hear an angry-sounding "BAA-AAA!"*
Jill: ..... "Baa-aaa"?
Barry: Does that guy have a sheep in there or something?
Rebecca: I DON'T want to know!
Barry: *knocks on the door* Hey! Are you William Birkin?
Man: *from inside the room* What? What are you talking about? And what are you doing in my private residence?!
Barry: We got a report that the Umbrella scientist William Birkin was alive and doing new B.O.W. experiments in this mansion. We're investigati--
Man: I am not William Birkin! I am WOOLliam Birkin, William's clone.
Chris: *saliva drips* Eh?
Jill, Barry and Rebecca: A clone?!?
Woolliam: Yes, William cloned me from a culture of his cells. Unfortunately, during the cloning process, he accidentally knocked over a tube of sheep DNA, which contaminated the culture.
Barry: Ooooo-kay. *a bit shocked* So, um.......... Are you conducting B.O.W. experiments here?
Woolliam: What's a B.O.W.? Ah, to heck with that, why should I tell you anything? You're not the police. Go away! Before I call 9-1-1 and report you as a bunch of burglars!
Barry: Hey, now, we're just--
Woolliam: *extremely loudly* BAAA-AAA-AAA-AAA!
Chris, Jill, Barry and Rebecca:
Rebecca: *in an extremely small, quiet voice* I think we should leave him alone.
Barry: Yeah. Looks like whoever gave us the tipoff had his information wrong. By the looks of things, that guy IS the experiment.
Jill: He didn't seem to know what a B.O.W. was. I guess he didn't work in Umbrella like William Birkin did.
Barry: But then if he's not carrying out any experiments, where did all those zombies come from?
Woolliam: I DON'T KNOW! NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! Baa-aaa!
*Barry and Rebecca leave the hallway. They suddenly realize...*
Rebecca: Hey, Chris is gone!
Barry: Oh @#$%!
###
*Meanwhile, two Wesker fans have concocted a devious scheme...*
Fox: *closes a book labeled "The Umbrella Guide to Gourmet Sweets"* So, it's settled. We go to this forest to gather Blue Herbs, and make them into the Blue Herb Toffees from this cookbook. If these Toffees are as delicious as the cookbook says they are, we should be able to sell them for mega-bucks.
Trish: Right, then we'll be able to pay Ada!
Fox: Yeah! And once she sneaks our video cameras into Wesker's lair, we'll sell the video feed from his bedroom and shower for SUPER-mega-bucks!
Trish and Fox: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! *evil laugh*
---------------------------
-Setting and Characters-
Jill, Barry and Rebecca are in the mansion inhabited by the mysterious Woolliam Birkin. Chris, who is trippin' on Diazepam, has wandered off to an unknown location. At the moment there seems to be no explanation for the zombies in the woods. While this is happening, Trish and Fox arrive in the woods to pick Blue Herbs for their Blue Herb Toffees.
The following characters are open for play:
Rebecca Chambers
Ada Wong (Ada has made a deal with Trish and Fox: if they can raise $10,000, she'll sneak video cameras into Wesker's lair for them.)
Albert Wesker
Any existing RE or original character that you'd like to bring in
Characters that are taken:
Woolliam Birkin
Chris Redfield (Lizzy_Dizzy)
Jill Valentine (Mister Ayen Valentine)
Barry Burton (jack)
---------------------------
LET THE HILARITY BEGIN!
-Introduction-
Chris, Jill, Barry and Rebecca receive information that William Birkin is alive and performing new B.O.W. experiments. The info leads them to a mansion in the forests of southern France.
Upon reaching the forest, they encounter a few zombies, which they dispose of easily. They reach the mansion, which at the moment appears to be zombie-free. Finding the front door locked with an electronic security device, the group makes their way inside through a side door that Jill lockpicks.
Jill: Never leave home without it... *puts away lockpicking set*
Chris: I never leave home without my trusty breath mints. *holds up a pack of mints* You guys want some?
Jill: Nah, I'm good.
Rebecca: No, thanks.
Barry: Nup. I've got gum.
Chris: More for me, then. *pops a handful of mints into his mouth*
*Rebecca sees the label on the pack of "mints" and is suddenly alarmed.*
Rebecca: Uh, Chris? Those aren't breath mints... that's--
Chris: Gurk! *suddenly gets a glazed look on his face and wobbles unsteadily*
Rebecca: -- Diazepam...
*note: Diazepam (Valium) is a muscle relaxant, sometimes taken by snipers and marksmen to ensure a perfectly steady aim.*
Chris: *drools and lurches forward* Guuuuwaaaaah...
Barry: *smacks himself on the forehead* Great. Just what we need. Another zombie.
*Chris staggers down the nearest hallway. The group follows him worriedly. He comes across a door, and in his daze, tries to open it.*
Barry: Whoa, Chris, careful with that... you never know what--
Chris: Hrrrrmmm? *opens the door*
*The door swings open to reveal an extremely cluttered bedroom. Books, papers and computer equipment are scattered in various places. A middle-aged man with sandy-blonde hair is sitting on the bed, reading a magazine. The bedcovers are bunched around his middle. The cover of the magazine features a beautiful, voluptuous redhead wearing a lab coat and nothing else. At the top of the magazine cover are the words "HOT NERDS".*
Man:
Chris: *sees the sexy woman on the magazine cover* Oooooohhhhh... *staggers toward the man*
Man: GAH! A ZOMBIE!!!
Chris: Hurrrrr... Me no zombeh...
Barry: *steps into the room* What's going on--
*The man gets out of bed, pulling the covers around his waist. He slaps at Chris and Barry with the magazine.*
Man: OUT! OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!
Barry: So this is your house? Are you--
Man: Can't a man have a private moment in his own home? GET OUT!!! *gives Chris and Barry a hard smack each, shoves them out the door, and slams it shut.*
*Barry, Chris and Rebecca hear the door being locked. A second later, they hear an angry-sounding "BAA-AAA!"*
Jill: ..... "Baa-aaa"?
Barry: Does that guy have a sheep in there or something?
Rebecca: I DON'T want to know!
Barry: *knocks on the door* Hey! Are you William Birkin?
Man: *from inside the room* What? What are you talking about? And what are you doing in my private residence?!
Barry: We got a report that the Umbrella scientist William Birkin was alive and doing new B.O.W. experiments in this mansion. We're investigati--
Man: I am not William Birkin! I am WOOLliam Birkin, William's clone.
Chris: *saliva drips* Eh?
Jill, Barry and Rebecca: A clone?!?
Woolliam: Yes, William cloned me from a culture of his cells. Unfortunately, during the cloning process, he accidentally knocked over a tube of sheep DNA, which contaminated the culture.
Barry: Ooooo-kay. *a bit shocked* So, um.......... Are you conducting B.O.W. experiments here?
Woolliam: What's a B.O.W.? Ah, to heck with that, why should I tell you anything? You're not the police. Go away! Before I call 9-1-1 and report you as a bunch of burglars!
Barry: Hey, now, we're just--
Woolliam: *extremely loudly* BAAA-AAA-AAA-AAA!
Chris, Jill, Barry and Rebecca:
Rebecca: *in an extremely small, quiet voice* I think we should leave him alone.
Barry: Yeah. Looks like whoever gave us the tipoff had his information wrong. By the looks of things, that guy IS the experiment.
Jill: He didn't seem to know what a B.O.W. was. I guess he didn't work in Umbrella like William Birkin did.
Barry: But then if he's not carrying out any experiments, where did all those zombies come from?
Woolliam: I DON'T KNOW! NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! Baa-aaa!
*Barry and Rebecca leave the hallway. They suddenly realize...*
Rebecca: Hey, Chris is gone!
Barry: Oh @#$%!
###
*Meanwhile, two Wesker fans have concocted a devious scheme...*
Fox: *closes a book labeled "The Umbrella Guide to Gourmet Sweets"* So, it's settled. We go to this forest to gather Blue Herbs, and make them into the Blue Herb Toffees from this cookbook. If these Toffees are as delicious as the cookbook says they are, we should be able to sell them for mega-bucks.
Trish: Right, then we'll be able to pay Ada!
Fox: Yeah! And once she sneaks our video cameras into Wesker's lair, we'll sell the video feed from his bedroom and shower for SUPER-mega-bucks!
Trish and Fox: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! *evil laugh*
---------------------------
-Setting and Characters-
Jill, Barry and Rebecca are in the mansion inhabited by the mysterious Woolliam Birkin. Chris, who is trippin' on Diazepam, has wandered off to an unknown location. At the moment there seems to be no explanation for the zombies in the woods. While this is happening, Trish and Fox arrive in the woods to pick Blue Herbs for their Blue Herb Toffees.
The following characters are open for play:
Rebecca Chambers
Ada Wong (Ada has made a deal with Trish and Fox: if they can raise $10,000, she'll sneak video cameras into Wesker's lair for them.)
Albert Wesker
Any existing RE or original character that you'd like to bring in
Characters that are taken:
Woolliam Birkin
Chris Redfield (Lizzy_Dizzy)
Jill Valentine (Mister Ayen Valentine)
Barry Burton (jack)
---------------------------
LET THE HILARITY BEGIN!