Post by EliteDForce on Jul 27, 2008 22:26:01 GMT -5
Edit: For some reason it takes out all of my indents. I can't seem to fix it, but oh well.
Something I wrote a while ago, I wrote a few following chapters but got bored with it. Working on something else right now, it's about 75,000 words long ;D.
Prologue
Five more steps remained. Each beat of the heart made my throat throb, my ribs clatter and my entire body vibrate. My hands trembled, my breathe came out shaky and broken. For the first time since he came along, I wondered if I had made the right decision. I closed my eyes, and in the darkness I saw his face. I opened them quickly, feeling even less at ease. I took a step.
Four more steps left. I took another, and another, and another. A single step was all that separated me and my twisted destiny. Everything had seemed so beautiful before, so dream like. I had imagined it from a million angles, but never one quite as grotesque and quite as... quite as real as the one I was experiencing now. The truth of the matter was things didn't turn out quite as I had hoped. Instead of being a sanctuary, it had turned into a prison.
Warm tears were spilling down my cheeks, and fell against the steel walkway. Random snippets of my life rushed through me. Not like a movie, where it is the profoundly significant events of their exciting lives, albeit some were. Some of them seamed so comically irrelevant. I remembered my mom taking me to the park when I was eight, for my birthday. I remember my step dad punching me in the nose when I was a little girl while my mom ran into the bank. My marriage to Dan, and how wonderful everything had seem then. Me and Dan's first apartment, and how the tension had began. Dan cheating on me with that little fucking tramp of a secretary, Jane. Dan and Jane, how cute a couple, I had thought with enough bitterness to bring about stinging tears.
We had moved past it, but nothing was the same. He ended up cheating on me four more times throughout the course of our marriage, but we had kids by then and I wasn't going to put them through that pressure. The only time we had sex was with the intention of making a baby, and it had felt so mechanical, like I was being slowly raped by a zombie, and in a lot of ways I guess I was. Everyday was Vicksburg, a struggle, a civil war. We did indeed pop out a couple kids. Julian, she became my sun. I adored her with every fiber of my being, and perhaps spoiled her a bit, but to accuse me of being a bad mom is downright ridiculous.
Dan wasn't home much, usually working late, I didn't honestly care these days. Then we had Alan, whom I adored to no less degree then Julian. So many years had passed since their birth. I watched them grow with love and happiness twinkling in their eyes. They were the only thing in my life that patted me in the back, whispered in my ear and told me things will turn out fine.
Then he came. He promised me things my imagination didn't bother pretending I could ever have. He didn't promise me happiness, he promised Julian and Alan happiness, which meant more to me then anything else. He promised me Dan would pay for everything he had done to me, and for everything he hadn't done for the kids. He said Dan would disappear from my life, I had no idea how literal he was when he told me.
He painted me a tomorrow so grand, and so great, I jumped at the thought. I jumped blindly, and as I lay here three years later, the truth of that is so obvious it makes me break down into tears everytime I think of it. I paid the price of my naivety, and so did my family. I suppose I should start from the beginning, but the beginning is so God damned boring if I actually started there you would likely have already put to book down minutes ago. Besides I'm not that great at writing to begin with, but I don't think my mind can ever find solace unless I share with the world what the man did to me. The man with no eyes.
I took the final step, and kissed the world goodbye.
And yes, it's copyrighted.
Something I wrote a while ago, I wrote a few following chapters but got bored with it. Working on something else right now, it's about 75,000 words long ;D.
Prologue
Five more steps remained. Each beat of the heart made my throat throb, my ribs clatter and my entire body vibrate. My hands trembled, my breathe came out shaky and broken. For the first time since he came along, I wondered if I had made the right decision. I closed my eyes, and in the darkness I saw his face. I opened them quickly, feeling even less at ease. I took a step.
Four more steps left. I took another, and another, and another. A single step was all that separated me and my twisted destiny. Everything had seemed so beautiful before, so dream like. I had imagined it from a million angles, but never one quite as grotesque and quite as... quite as real as the one I was experiencing now. The truth of the matter was things didn't turn out quite as I had hoped. Instead of being a sanctuary, it had turned into a prison.
Warm tears were spilling down my cheeks, and fell against the steel walkway. Random snippets of my life rushed through me. Not like a movie, where it is the profoundly significant events of their exciting lives, albeit some were. Some of them seamed so comically irrelevant. I remembered my mom taking me to the park when I was eight, for my birthday. I remember my step dad punching me in the nose when I was a little girl while my mom ran into the bank. My marriage to Dan, and how wonderful everything had seem then. Me and Dan's first apartment, and how the tension had began. Dan cheating on me with that little fucking tramp of a secretary, Jane. Dan and Jane, how cute a couple, I had thought with enough bitterness to bring about stinging tears.
We had moved past it, but nothing was the same. He ended up cheating on me four more times throughout the course of our marriage, but we had kids by then and I wasn't going to put them through that pressure. The only time we had sex was with the intention of making a baby, and it had felt so mechanical, like I was being slowly raped by a zombie, and in a lot of ways I guess I was. Everyday was Vicksburg, a struggle, a civil war. We did indeed pop out a couple kids. Julian, she became my sun. I adored her with every fiber of my being, and perhaps spoiled her a bit, but to accuse me of being a bad mom is downright ridiculous.
Dan wasn't home much, usually working late, I didn't honestly care these days. Then we had Alan, whom I adored to no less degree then Julian. So many years had passed since their birth. I watched them grow with love and happiness twinkling in their eyes. They were the only thing in my life that patted me in the back, whispered in my ear and told me things will turn out fine.
Then he came. He promised me things my imagination didn't bother pretending I could ever have. He didn't promise me happiness, he promised Julian and Alan happiness, which meant more to me then anything else. He promised me Dan would pay for everything he had done to me, and for everything he hadn't done for the kids. He said Dan would disappear from my life, I had no idea how literal he was when he told me.
He painted me a tomorrow so grand, and so great, I jumped at the thought. I jumped blindly, and as I lay here three years later, the truth of that is so obvious it makes me break down into tears everytime I think of it. I paid the price of my naivety, and so did my family. I suppose I should start from the beginning, but the beginning is so God damned boring if I actually started there you would likely have already put to book down minutes ago. Besides I'm not that great at writing to begin with, but I don't think my mind can ever find solace unless I share with the world what the man did to me. The man with no eyes.
I took the final step, and kissed the world goodbye.
And yes, it's copyrighted.
